Dick Venom Reviews: Thirteen Shots


“Elmor Fudd fucks post myxomatosis Jessica Rabbit every which rabbitty way and I love it.”

Live from Hipsville High, Dicktopia Central here’s a Mach 3 Sexwave of Lightspeed Lovin right from me t’ you an’ you to I. How the hell are ya? Thin Green Dick wants t’ greet you again. Me? I been grindin my uranium rod an spurtin my usual ThaiFighter JetSprey – scramble them mandibles, whaddoya say? Get on over here an get ready to play…

Preamble over an here’s why we’re here. I gots an album crammed into my ears so lets get introduced. Thirteen Shots give to us ‘Tales that Start With A Whisper’.

But that aint how things start. A nifty lil intro announces and hollers the name of band among a backdrop of whoopin’ applause. A confident muscle pump an flex settin’ tone for the rest of track one. Everything’s in right proportions. A high rise attack of shtick and genre parody clamped so tight together that there aint no space for nuthin but pleasure. From Johnny B Goode to Sloop John B this 2 minuet wraparound writhes with rockabilly/ rock’n’roll’s staple diets an’ the Shot’s own addons on way.

Mandatory mention of undead ahead. But I aint complainin’… I love the smell of sinew in the mornin‘. ‘Zombies from the USSR’ rips us outta track one (that ‘DeathJam 2000’) an slams us full frontal into horrorsurf homeland. It bristles an kissles an bubbles with sinister surfwave dumbpunkabilly. It spreads out at the middle, exploring a might more that would you might have thought. It’s a guilt free ride- unlike m’sweet self.

Intentions do change on the next song or three. The vehicle dont change but the bodyshape shifts. That clean swing guitar gets phased out an replaced by a hard driven fuzz that buzzes an pops and a straighter horror punk pops up an through. I like the latter a lil less than the hits from before but no fear… stick with that not unworthy wilderness and see what erupts other side

Hit back in style huh? Wilderness refined. ‘Nekro Sexual’ comes next. Try delivering this in a beautifully brutally N.Y.Dolls meets Nekromantix manor “All you got between your legs is a pulse/ And that dont do it for me. /Go outside, lie in a graveyard for six months, let rabbits nibble on your toes and come back to me.” Elmyror Fudd fucks post myxomatosis  Jessica Rabbit every which rabbitty way and I love it. Thirteen Shots I forgive you for the tracks I didn’t love quite as much as I couldda. And this high mark continues. The next number (the title track) maintains this new found sense of strip away glory and rounds off the album quite nicely. Well… it would bar the two live tracks that got tacked on the end.

Get this. Listen. There’s all the trimmings that we, you an I love that comes with anything anything-abilly but there’s more than the standard. This aint some easy regurgitation of familiar themes. This is S&M familiar themes. Might have a dark patch or two but I hear the sound of a band on the grow.

Stay Cool. Stay Sick. Stay Pretty.
Dick out XxX

Thirteen shots can be found here

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